When Missing a Goal Hurts Your Self
- Cherise wooden
- Aug 24
- 1 min read
I recently read a study on the impact on self-esteem when high goals are set yet not achieved. What this study found is that people who failed at high and specific goals were more likely to have a decrease in mood, lower self-esteem and decline in motivation. This provides strong evidence that missing a lofty, clearly defined goal can damage how we feel about ourselves and reduce our drive to take on new challenges.
What You Might Do Differently—Practical Takeaways
In session, I encourage you to set meaningful, specific, and attainable goals. This is in part due to, smaller milestones may help ward off motivational setbacks when things don’t go as planned. I also promote resilience habits. By normalizing setbacks, you learn to see them as part of healing, not proof they’re “broken.”
Addressing the Self-Impact of Failure
The study showed that unmet goals likely trigger negative mood and lower self-esteem. In session, I guide clients through the process of separating goal failure from self-failure. By reinforcing that missing a goal is feedback, not a reflection of their worth, clients are typically able to adopt a new perspective.
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